Dear Universe,
Who do I direct this to, anyway?
T*** left this morning for Florida, and I was saddened at his departure. I clutched to him last night, happily on the verge of sleep and the infinite realm of the dreaming universe. While doing my best not to fall asleep on the couch with him, I retreated to my own bed in the hopes that dreams would come swiftly.
They did.
There truly must be another world.
Strange that it's been 3 years and I would still be plagued by the memory of love lost. If you call it love, anyway. More like misguided infatuation. Usually these dreams are reoccurring, lonely bits of memories collided together to make one strong theme: the final acquisition of love and it's inevitable loss. Try as I might, even if I know the dream is a dream, the ending is the same. There is no way to change the fated outcome; where Mason finally walks out my door, never to be seen again.
What are the meanings of these dreams when I have finally come by the love that I have always wanted: where it is true and certain? Where I am not controlled or forced into anything, where I am the only one he sees in his eyes, where everyday I am loved and appreciated for being perfect in all my imperfections.
Please let me stop dreaming of those days. I want to dream of the days to come.
Disappear already...
You plague me so.
Love,
Jatisrose
Dear Blog,
I have to get my arse to karate... but I cannot seem to lift myself from my seat, and in a way, I feel a little flabby for it.
In my actual diary I wrote about 6 pages today. A lot of what I wrote had to do with my childhood and my mother, a crazy woman who seems to be pathologically right about everything. That can't be helped, I suppose, so there's no reason to complain about it but it still bothers me that she won't listen to what anyone says, despite if it's helpful or not. I'm going to stop complaining about it.
I've been having strange dreams lately and because True Blood was on last night I had dreams about vampires and strange things like that. I'm not complaining. >< heh heh...
Oh I love it. When will they get together? Sadly this picture is just her dream sequence as a result of drinking his blood but ffffuuu. T^T The second one... well I forget what episode that's from but needless to say, I love the two together. F*** Bill! He's so silly! (Though I do love how sweet he gets) but I still hate that he used Sookie~ and now he's some kinda too-cool-cor-school King. EXPLAIN PLEASE. o_o Except I do hate spoilers, and they're abound on the internet, so I have to be careful.
Amnesia? WHAT?!
Ugh.. I knew I shouldn't have read anything... T^T
Love,
McKenna
Dearest Blog,
My first entry, but I suppose we all have to start somewhere. I should be getting to karate class but I'm so tempted by all the pretties. u_u I've been obsessing over circle lens contacts lately, especially dolly eye grey. So cute!
Anyhow, when I have something worthwhile to add, I definitely will!
Sincerely,
McKenna
