Who do I direct this to, anyway?
T*** left this morning for Florida, and I was saddened at his departure. I clutched to him last night, happily on the verge of sleep and the infinite realm of the dreaming universe. While doing my best not to fall asleep on the couch with him, I retreated to my own bed in the hopes that dreams would come swiftly.
They did.
There truly must be another world.
Strange that it's been 3 years and I would still be plagued by the memory of love lost. If you call it love, anyway. More like misguided infatuation. Usually these dreams are reoccurring, lonely bits of memories collided together to make one strong theme: the final acquisition of love and it's inevitable loss. Try as I might, even if I know the dream is a dream, the ending is the same. There is no way to change the fated outcome; where Mason finally walks out my door, never to be seen again.
What are the meanings of these dreams when I have finally come by the love that I have always wanted: where it is true and certain? Where I am not controlled or forced into anything, where I am the only one he sees in his eyes, where everyday I am loved and appreciated for being perfect in all my imperfections.
Please let me stop dreaming of those days. I want to dream of the days to come.
Disappear already...
You plague me so.
Jatisrose
